Tuesday, March 24, 2009
so now u r bestie with them la...
good...
i thought u used to hate them...
i thought u dont like to eat lunchie with them...
so now u can eat with them on one table la...
so u enjoy urself??
i hope u do...
if not, i hope u r torturing urself...
whatever la...
i cant be bothered with u...
i must say...
i lied...
u r not one of the colleagues i trusted...
but it's not because i dont trust u...
it's because i can't trust u...
u r not nasty...
u do not use dirty method...
but because i know u...
u r too soft...
too easily to be lead on...
to easy to be taken in...
by others...
so i cant trust u...
im sorry...
but i cant...
if u r nv my colleague...
im sure i know i can always trust u...
outside this world...
i mean working world...
u will always be trusted by me...
im sure...
it's just that we spent majority of our time in the working world...
scribbled at 3/24/2009 04:07:00 PM
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
i dont know why...
i think im starting again...
the 'me' that doesnt like to communicate...
at work...
except work stuffs...
so i dont have any work stuffs to talk to her about...
so i refuse to communicate...
and when i didnt talk to her...
cause i cant think of any to talk to her...
she didnt talk to me either...
i mean we can sit on the table eating with zero conversation...
unless i start some small talk...
what the hell manx...
cant she think of something to say...
why must it always be me...
i know i know...
she will probably say i dont feel like talking so she keeps quiet lor...
dont disturb me...
argh...
this sux manx...
whatever manx...
im gonna do what my mood feel like doing...
dont wanna talk then dont talk...
argh...
cant force me to think of something to talk when i cant right...
i dont wanna talk abt personal stuffs either...
work place = work...
maybe it's because someone kinda spread out something that i tried to hide...
and im kinda affected by it...
-argh-
scribbled at 2/24/2009 10:42:00 AM
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
having headache again...
=(
stomach isn't feeling well recently also...
=(
im not myself at work since i came back to work...
in a state of refusal to communicate...
and in fear...
fear of saying the wrong things...
and some stuffs reminds me of unhappy stuffs...
in a state of denial last week...
it's like im stuck in a box...
knowing that ive to get out and see the big picture...
yet im unable to do so...
the feeling sux cause it feels like suffocating...
i know i know...
the whole problem probably just lies with me...
majority part...
nobody else is at fault...
it's just me la...
my character, thinking, behavior & attitude just clashed...
it just upset me...
like a scar...
i really don't understand...
why why why...
why did i reply the way i do...
why did i even reply in my heart sliently...
this is no good...
really bad...
it just made me more 反感 towards her...
and i just can't...
if she is a nobody...
i won't be feeling the way i do...
but she is a somebody...
and i do not want to give up anybody just to make her a nobody...
what the hell manx...
i really dont know what is wrong with me...
she is not a bad person...
in fact, she is a nice person...
too nice a person...
and this is the first time im upset over someone that is nice...
that is nice to me...
argh...
i know that she is suffering cause of me now...
probably...
she probably wondering what did she do wrong to be treated like that...
ya la ya la...
i sux...
i shld not treat her the way i do...
i shld treat her the way i did in the past...
but everything changed...
overnight...
i need to forgive...
but maybe not forget...
how can i forget...
someone who nearly made me lose the person i love and cherish...
and that person love and cherish me too...
how can i forget...
someone who made me hate myself... blame myself...
and i hate to hate or blame myself...
how can i forget...
someone who indirectly caused so much unhappiness in me...
just days before i turned 21...
and days after i turned 21...
i know i know...
it's always me, myself and i...
im a self-centered person...
but im the kinda person who life = happiness...
who love myself more than anything on earth...
who memories are the most impt things...
and now they are destroyed...
at least temporary...
nobody will understand the pain inflicted in me...
nobody will understand how 痛苦 im feeling...
how sick i feel...
how upset i feel...
how i tried hard to hide whatever im feeling...
but i know that i will not be able to hide all that im feeling...
how i feel that it's useless to cry over it after i cried for a few hrs...
and tears never come out again...
she said that she is only scared that im angry with her...
what she doesnt know is that i cannot be angry with her!!!
i want to hate her...
but i can't...
i want to be angry with her...
but i can't...
i want to be upset with her...
but i can't...
i want to ignore her totally...
but i can't...
i want to tell her off all my unhappines...
but i can't....
i want to speak out my mind...
but i can't...
i hate it
i hate it
i hate it
i hate what im feeling now...
i hate that i can't get outta the box...
i hate for thinking what im thinking...
i hate for feeling what im feeling...
i hate for what im replying...
ARGH!!!!
i feel like im falling sick soon...
i feel like im breaking down soon...
the only pillar im holding to now...
is my dear...
he's been really nice and patience to me recently...
thanks dear...
and im sorry for everything...
i just have to rant...
scribbled at 1/13/2009 11:16:00 AM
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
recently, lots of things happen... sianzz~
scribbled at 3/21/2007 12:30:00 AM
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
PHENOMENA ????
Okay.. Singaporean have 3 Ks... Kia-Su, Kia-Si and K-po... well.. i'm still proud being a Singaporean despite that.. but the point is.. it's not rare to see aunties fighting for offer stuffs at heartland shopping mall; markets or even orchard road... but i see this [see pic] at Liang Court..
it's not a place where people always come.. neither is there much things to shop except Audio House.. but the whole stack of shoes + shoes boxes just collapse like this.. in a few mins time.. wth right? how can they buy or even find shoes in this way?
Moreover, Liang Court is a place visted by most tourists; esp japanese as there is a japanese supermarket.. and it's a hotel that tourists stay.. Singapore has really created a "good" impression.. i'm totally like speechless when i see it.. omg.. and i swear.. i saw some tourists joined in the "fun" as well..
well.. it might be something fresh to the tourists.. maybe they do not even have that kind of situation back in their country.. but my qns is .. is it something we should be proud of or not? haix.. i wonder.. if we shld be proud of it, i'll join in next time.. >_<
i still love Singapore.. and being a Singaporean.. and i love Sales of cuz.. but this is not the way to "shop" for sales items.. it isn't shopping anymore..
scribbled at 9/19/2006 10:49:00 AM
-..- Cockroaches In TIB Bus -..-
that day i was going home in a TIB bus and this is what i saw.. [see pic] it's not the first time i saw it already.. and i believed many other people saw it.. but did anyone report it? i feedback to the TIB Company.. and they replied saying they will send the bus back to the deport.. oh well.. so did Singaporean pay more for bus fare; just for this kind of bus? Like i said in my previous post, increase in bus fare did not affect me much.. because i'm still using concession.. but in another 5mths time, i'll be using adult ez-link card.. Better don't let me experience that again.. this is SINGAPORE.. not other countries.. so in this Beautiful, Green City; this is not ALLOWED!!
scribbled at 9/19/2006 10:38:00 AM
Monday, September 11, 2006
!!! Ridiculous People !!!
i can't believe singaporean can be this worse.. - spitting on the buttons in the lift !!
HOW CAN THEY DO THAT?!
IT'S SO DISGUSTING!!!
i doubt this person stayed in my block.. because he/she is just being so inconsiderate.. even if it's done by a KID... but... what's school teaching nowadays?! what about their parents?! oh my god..
I wonder what they are actually thinking about?!!!
scribbled at 9/11/2006 04:19:00 PM
Thursday, September 07, 2006
why is it that there is so much mystery death happening ? haix... it's really saddening... a uncle and niece died together in the car park... but they are nt lover.. haix.. and what is the reason for them dying? nobody knows.. why do people hide the truth to their death? i've always been preparing for death.. leaving notes to people... my last words... i wonder.. dun they have anything to say to anyone? they loved ones? their husband? their kids? they are so weird.. or am i the one being weird...
today, i read the newspaper and there is this boi who die due to a mystery fever.. what had exactly taken him away from the mortal world? is it really the fever? a fever that even the doc cannot cure? it's really sad.. he got such a bright future.. maybe it's because he studied too hard... i wonder... in his 15yrs of life... had he enjoyed himself? hmm.. to me, studying isn't enjoyment.. but maybe to him, it is.. My deeply consolation for his family...
life is really weird.. unpredictable.. u might die anytime.. without urself knowing.. haix.. it's really better to cherish everyday as though your last day on earth.. and creating more beautiful n happy memories for ur loved ones.. and doing everything u want.. living life to the fullness... like that, we wun have regrets when we die le bah... and we'll be remembered..
what do u think? do u fear death? are u prepared? what if ur time is limited on earth?
if u have only 1 choice, 1 moment to make 1 memory lasts forever, what will u do?
scribbled at 9/07/2006 01:27:00 PM